Have you ever been ghosted? You know, when someone you’ve been dating or talking to suddenly disappears without a trace. No calls, no texts, no explanations. Girl, I’ve been there too, and it sucks. But here’s the truth: it’s not you, it’s them.
The people who ghost have their issues and lack the emotional maturity to discuss honestly why they’re no longer interested. Refrain from trying to figure out what you did wrong or waiting for them to return with some half-baked excuse. You deserve so much better.
Why Do People Ghost?
Ghosting while dating happens; when it does, know that it’s them, not you. Some people aren’t emotionally mature enough to communicate that they’re no longer interested. Rather than a respectful text or call, they disappear.
- They lack emotional maturity. Some daters don’t have the skills or maturity to communicate effectively or end relationships respectfully. Don’t take their behavior personally.
- They’re afraid of confrontation. Avoiding the situation altogether rather than risking an awkward conversation is easier for them. While frustrating, their avoidance says more about them than you.
- They’re playing games. Sadly, some daters enjoy the thrill of the chase more than the relationship. Once they’ve “caught” you, they lose interest and move on to the next target. These game players aren’t worth your time or energy.
- They’ve found someone new. Occasionally, ghosting happens because they’ve started seeing another person and want to avoid juggling multiple relationships. Still, a quick message to end things would be the decent and respectful thing to do.
The best way to deal with ghosting is not to dwell on it or get emotionally caught up. Have options so you’re not focused on one person. And you’ll have the power when they do come back around—because they often do. You can ignore them, tell them you’ve moved on, or make them work to earn back your trust if you’re still interested.
But go slowly. People rarely change their behavior overnight. You deserve someone who will treat you well and communicate openly. Don’t settle for less.
Don’t Take Ghosting Personally: It’s a Reflection on Them, Not You
Ghosting says much more about the other person than it does about you. When someone disappears without explanation, it’s usually because they lack emotional maturity and communication skills, not because you did something wrong.
- Their inability to have an honest but difficult conversation is a reflection of their character, not yours. Don’t internalize their issues.
- Don’t waste time figuring out what you did to upset or make them leave. The problem lies with them, not you.
Rather than racking your brain, accept that you may never get closure and work on building up your confidence from within. Focus on surrounding yourself with people who treat you with kindness, honesty and respect. Don’t let one person’s actions shake your self-worth.
- Have options, and don’t get too invested in a person too quickly. Go into dating with an abundance mindset – there are more great people out there.
- When they come back (and they often do), you’ll be in a position of power. You’ll have the clarity to see them for who they are and the strength to stand up for what you deserve.
Stay true to yourself, keep dating, and the right person will come along – one who would never dream of disappearing without a word. Let the ghosts of dating past fade away. This is about your journey to find a meaningful connection, not about anyone’s vanishing act says about you. You’ve got this!
What Should You Do When a Ghoster Returns?
When the ghost who disappeared on you comes back around, it’s time to lay down some ground rules to protect yourself. Don’t get sucked back in so easily. Their return could indicate they’re emotionally immature and unreliable, so you must be cautious.
Set clear boundaries. Be polite but firm, and don’t feel pressured into anything. Say something like, “It’s nice to hear from you, but I’m not interested in picking up where we left off.” You deserve someone who will treat you with respect. If they get upset or try to manipulate you, stand your ground. You owe them nothing.
Don’t make excuses for their behavior. Don’t justify their actions or blame yourself. Ghosting is unacceptable, no matter the reason. Don’t let them off the hook so easily with a lame apology. Look for changed behavior over time.
Keep your options open. Don’t stop living your life or dating new people, hoping they’ll return. Have a “roster” of interesting people you’re connecting with so you don’t get caught up on someone who doesn’t value you.
Keep Your Options Open: Avoid Getting Emotionally Invested Too Soon
So you started dating someone new, and things seemed to be going well, but they suddenly disappeared without explanation. Don’t take it personally—this says more about them than you. Ghosting, as it’s called, is a sign of emotional immaturity and a lack of communication skills. Rather than honestly expressing their feelings, they avoided the situation altogether by cutting off contact.
While the experience stings, try not to invest too quickly in someone new. Keep your options open and continue dating other people to have a potential roster. Don’t build up fantasies about a future with someone you just met. Take things slow and look for signs that this person can handle emotionally mature communication before becoming exclusive.
When the ghost comes back around again (and they frequently do), you’ll be in a better position to evaluate the situation rationally. Did they apologize and take responsibility for their actions? Are they making excuses or blaming you in some way? Listen to determine if this person is genuinely interested in you or just lonely and looking for validation or physical intimacy. You deserve someone who can express themselves openly and honestly.
Rather than pining away for someone who disappeared, focus on surrounding yourself with people who treat you well and value open communication. Keep busy with hobbies, friends, and other dates. The pain from being ghosted will fade, and you’ll eventually meet someone who can build a real connection. When you do, make sure to take things slowly and keep an eye out for red flags. The ghost’s actions said more about them, so don’t carry that baggage into a new relationship. You’ve got this!
Level Up Your Dating Approach: Focus on Emotional Maturity and Intention
As you continue to date, focusing on emotional maturity and intention is important. This means being selective with whom you spend time with, not getting too invested too quickly, and keeping your options open.
Don’t Take Ghosting Personally
If someone suddenly stops responding, it says more about them than you. Their lack of communication and respect shows their emotional immaturity and inability to converse honestly. Don’t dwell on it or get caught up trying to figure out “what went wrong.” Chances are, the issue lies with them, not you.
Keep Your Options Open
Don’t become so focused on one person that you ignore other potential matches or close yourself off to new people. Continue using dating apps and making new connections. Go out on multiple first dates. Only commit to exclusivity once you’ve thoroughly vetted the person and built a genuine connection over a period of months.
Look for Emotional Availability and Maturity
Pay attention to how your dates handle communication and difficult conversations. Do they openly share how they feel? Can they articulate their wants and needs? Do they take responsibility for their actions? These are signs of emotional intelligence and the ability to build a healthy relationship.
Move On When They Come Back
If a ghoster does return, don’t get drawn back in. They likely haven’t changed, and the same issues will arise again. Wish them well, and continue focusing on emotionally available and mature people who treat you with respect. You deserve so much more.
Leveling up your dating approach in these ways will help you find someone who can build a meaningful relationship. Don’t settle for less.
So the next time someone you were seeing casually suddenly disappears into the ether, remember – it’s not about you. Refrain from figuring out what you did wrong or beating yourself up. Some people aren’t emotionally ready to invest in real connections, and that’s on them, not you. Keep putting yourself out there, stick to your standards, and don’t settle.
The right person who values you, respects you, and wants to build something meaningful together will come along. Stay confident, keep your options open, and keep looking for the mature and caring partner you deserve. Ghosting says everything about them and nothing about you. Their loss!
